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Joanna No Banana
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    • A Letter to My Chronically Ill Body
    • My Chronic Illness Changed Me & That’s Okay
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        August 15, 2022

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        March 21, 2021

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        How to Grieve: Chronic Illness Edition

        October 15, 2020

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        July 18, 2020

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Chronically Ill

Text written is "Grieving Who You Used to Be" in white letter on a pink, floral background
Chronic IllnessDisability

Grieving Who You Used to Be: Disability / Chronic Illness Edition

by Joanna No Banana August 15, 2022

Disability and chronic illness can become a part of someone’s life at any point. Someone can be born disabled/chronically ill or become disabled/chronically ill at any point in their lives. For those of us who became disabled later on in life, we lost the ability to do certain things, such as some of our favorite hobbies or the way we enjoyed doing certain things independently. For some it doesn’t feel like a major loss, but for others maybe it feels like your entire life changed. This one is written for those whose entire lives changed.

Losing the ability to do something is in a way like losing someone close to you. It’s grief. I’ve written previously about this topic in my article where I discussed the process of grieving becoming chronically ill and/or disabled, but what about how that entire process makes us feel? It’s frightening and confusing. It can make us feel as if we aren’t in control of our lives. What about all of the life plans that we made over the years? Now, so many of our dreams don’t seem to be viable options anymore. Life is so different now. We’re so different now.

What if us being so different isn’t such a bad thing though? That’s not meant to dismiss all of the pain, grief, and suffering, but instead to take a moment to appreciate how we’ve grown as people. Maybe this is a better version of you? Becoming self-aware of your own needs and possibly having specific needs makes you a lot more aware of things others around you need. It makes you more compassionate and understanding. Having to focus our energy on our survival tends to leave less room for pleasing people. Perhaps that caused many people to leave your life, but maybe those people were never as great friends as you once thought they were. If they don’t constantly do their best to try to understand and support you, then they were never great at being your friend, partner, etc. When you don’t have the energy to act how others want you to behave, you get a chance to be your authentic self.

Advocating for ourselves is one of the most difficult things to do in the world. For a lot of us, after interacting with the chronically ill and disabled community, we became increasingly passionate about advocacy as we noticed our new friends being mistreated. Many of us began to advocate for our chronically ill and/or disabled friends which taught us to advocate for ourselves. Four years ago I wouldn’t even order something off the menu if it required a small change to be allergy-friendly for me, but nowadays on a personal level I’ve set boundaries with those around me and restaurants as to what is and isn’t acceptable behavior regarding my allergies. My passion for allergy advocacy and making sure everybody has safe food to eat grew from knowing what it’s like to not have that alongside seeing my friends deal with similar situations. If you really take a moment to think about it, can you find a way in which you advocate for yourself and/or others now much more than you did before you became chronically ill and/or disabled?

It’s okay to grieve who you could’ve been. That being said, maybe this version of you is better in some way. It’s valid if you don’t feel that way, but it’s something to consider. Even when some (if not all) of your life plans are changing due to your body behaving differently than before, you still managed to find a way to grow into the wonderful person who you are.

August 15, 2022 0 comment
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My name is Joanna. I’m a 24-year-old chronically ill and disabled blogger whose goal is to help build our wonderful community.Read More!

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  • Grieving Who You Used to Be: Disability / Chronic Illness Edition

    August 15, 2022
  • Top 10 Ways To Increase Shower Accessibility

    March 21, 2021
  • My Chronic Illness Changed Me & That’s Okay

    February 6, 2021
  • How to Grieve: Chronic Illness Edition

    October 15, 2020
  • Imposter Syndrome: Dynamic Disability Edition

    September 6, 2020

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#ad Did you know that 70 to 80% of people with ute #ad Did you know that 70 to 80% of people with uteruses will develop fibroids in their lifetime yet United HealthCare is currently refusing to cover all available treatment options?
 
Many people with uteruses suffer from uterine fibroids for years as they await a proper diagnosis and proper treatment. As someone who is chronically ill, I strongly sympathize with those who aren’t getting what they need from the medical system. 

Black people with uteruses are disproportionately affected by Uterine Fibroids as their symptoms tend to appear earlier in life, display a greater amount of fibroids, and showcase more severe symptoms. 

Are you aware that insurance coverage policies drive inequity? 

At this moment, @unitedhealthcare is currently refusing to cover all treatment options for Uterine Fibroids, including RFA! 

(RFA stands for radiofrequency ablation which is a minimally invasive procedure that uses heat to target fibroids individually to reduce their size significantly.)

Let’s speak out against this injustice to help those who need RFA and other treatments for Uterine Fibroids get their medical needs covered by @unitedhealthcare insurance!

What can you do? 

Share this post on your stories, speak about your own experiences with @unitedhealthcare refusing to cover your fibroids treatment, tweet, etc. in order to force UHC to stop limiting options for fibroid treatment for millions of women. If you have UHC insurance, share this information with your employer and encourage your HR department to reach out to @UnitedHealthcare for an explanation Follow the White Dress Project on IG and Twitter to stay up to date with any updates regarding this important mission!
Proud to join @wecanwearwhite in their important mission! 

The White Dress Project is a nonprofit patient support organization for people with fibroids. 

#UHC #WeCanWearWhite #Sponsored #ChronicIllness #ChronicallyIll #Disability #Disabled #WhyNOTmeUHC #makeunitedhealthCARE 

sources: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3874080/, 
and https://www.uclahealth.org/medical-services/fibroids/what-are-fibroids
Double tap if you can relate! Humor can be a won Double tap if you can relate! 

Humor can be a wonderful way to help cope with the symptoms of chronic illness, especially when we feel that we aren't in control of our bodies, such as during flare ups.

I hope this tweet makes you smile at least a little bit. 💛

Follow @joannanobanana for more content like this!

#ChronicIllness #ChronicallyIll #MastCellActivationSyndrome #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Dysautonomia
#ad Are you looking for a supplement which can aid #ad Are you looking for a supplement which can aid with hormonal imbalance? Check out @janes_supp as a potential option for you!

Jane’s contains a wide range of amazing sources of nutrients such as ginger, turmeric, watercress, basil, dill seed, and black pepper. You can even check out their website to find out the origins of where these ingredients are sourced.

Jane’s ingredients don’t include shellfish, dairy, and soy. Alongside this, it also doesn't include corn or gluten!

This product is also Kosher Certified and Certified Organic.

Check out @janes_supp to join the community and learn more!

#HormonalSupplement #HormonalBalance #HormonalHealth #Health
Anyone else in this pipeline? 🙋🏻‍♀️🙃

It's so easy to get wrapped into the "hustle culture" pipeline. The idea that we can have everything we ever dreamed of if we just follow the perfect plan. 

Hustle hard in school and then at work and then life is easy, right?

But what happens when the constant stress, the lack of sleep, the lack of nutrition, etc. wears our bodies out in some way?

What happens when we get older and realize that the reason why many of us won't achieve the easy life isn't because of lack of hard work but because of oppressive systems already in place?

I'm sure many of us can relate to this situation. You give up everything for the dream life and then deal with chronic illness. When you lose your health you realize how important that was in the first place.

Our bodies are so burnt out and now we're doing the best we can to prevent further damage as much as possible. Maybe to heal from it at least a bit if possible?

Many of us took the steps to take care of our health too. Work out daily. Eat healthy, home made foods. Find ways to destress.

However, for some of our bodies that wasn't enough to prevent the chronic illness. This is now even more common as we're in a mass disabling event.

So if you take one thing from this post, please allow it to be this: rest. 💛

Rest like your body depends on it and not in the hustle hard every day for a week of rest. Rest as if that's what should be priority in the first place and may we find a way to together bring down the oppressive systems. 💛

Do you relate to this pipeline? Comment below!

Follow @joannanobanana for more content like this!

#ChronicIllness #ChronicallyIll #Disabled #Disability #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #MastCellActivationSyndrome #Dysautonomia
What have you learned due to your chronic illness What have you learned due to your chronic illness and/or disability? 💛

Chronic illness taught me many things. One of the biggest is to live in the moment as plans are usually likely to change soon anyways. 

Just because things aren’t going to plan, it doesn’t mean that things won’t work out. 💛

For more content like this follow @joannanobanana 

#ChronicIllness #ChronicallyIll #MastCellActivationSyndrome #Dysautonomia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome
Double tap if you agree! 💛 Chronically ill peo Double tap if you agree! 💛

Chronically ill people / disabled people speaking our truths is so crucial!

It's a way for us to communicate, bond with those with shared experiences, and work together to find ways to fight ableism and seek disability justice.

However, unfortunately, due to ableism, our narrative is oftentimes taken away from us.

With every experience of our symptoms being dismissed, every ableist comment, every rejection of our accessibility needs, etc. we have to fight in order to be heard.

Even when we are heard we are oftentimes dismissed for our stories.

The moment people realize that we're disabled/chronically ill and that it won't take some overly simple "cure" to heal us in a matter of days, the general public stops believing us about not only how we feel in our body but also how differently the world treats us.

I think a lot of it is related to how people who aren't disabled / chronically ill fear becoming like us so they want to convince themselves that they would never become like us which as we all know is a false pretense to have. Anyone can become disabled at any time in their life.

My hope is that one day the ableism won't be so deeply sown into our society and more disabled / chronically ill people can share their narratives without society ignoring us or fighting us about our experiences.

Have you experienced being dismissed about your narrative due to your disability / chronic illness? Please feel free to share in the comments! 💛

Follow @joannanobanana for more content like this!

#ChronicIllness #ChronicallyIll #Disabled #Disability #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #MastCellActivationSyndrome #Dysautonomia
C to the 19 left me with health issues that I’m C to the 19 left me with health issues that I’m still dealing with to this day, but the power of community helped me get back to a much better place.

I hope that 2023 is the year where I can pay you back tenfold for the kindness, love, and support shown for me. 💛

Thank you for everything! 🤗

#ChronicIllness #ChronicallyIll #MastCellActivationSyndrome #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Dysautonomia
Double tap if you agree! 💛 Are invisible disab Double tap if you agree! 💛

Are invisible disabilities really invisible? 

Is it possible that we’re oftentimes hiding our pain and other symptoms from other people for their own comfort? 

For example, my MCAS can be seen in the hives on my skin and my POTS can be seen in the pooling in my legs turning them purple.

These symptoms are visible if someone looks close enough. 

Personally I’ve spent a long time hiding my symptoms for the comfort of others and as I get older and learn to live my life in my own way, I’m finding that it’s not something that I really have the energy to do anymore. I much rather spend my limited energy on things that bring my joy. 💛

I think there is a certain level of symptom masking that happens naturally to some extent and I’m not quite sure what to make of that to be honest. 

Is it the way we’re socialized? 

Is it the way in which we sometimes ignore our symptoms to focus on other aspects of our lives? 

This is a rambling post with a lot of questions posed. In this moment, I don’t have the answers but I look forward to the conversation. 💛

How do you feel about the term "invisible disability"? Comment below!

Follow @joannanobanana for more content on chronic illness / disability!

#ChronicIllness #ChronicallyIll #Disabled #Disability #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #MastCellActivationSyndrome #Dysautonomia
#ad Time to take a #LUNAMiniMoment (with my lovely #ad Time to take a #LUNAMiniMoment (with my lovely cat Luna) during the holiday season! #LUNABarCrew

The holiday seasons can be such a joyous time, but it can also be really overwhelming.

We have these grand ideas of what this magical time should look like. It can be difficult to make that magic happen without getting overwhelmed here and there. That’s why taking a break is so important!

Personally, I love to take a break by snacking on the LUNA Chocolate Cupcake while hanging out with my cats to relax and reset. (The cat in the photo is also named Luna which is a funny coincidence!)

LUNA® is a delicious plant-based snack made with organic rolled oats for a feel-good break. It’s also gluten free, non-GMO, and doesn’t include high fructose corn syrup or artificial flavors.

Grab a LUNA Chocolate Cupcake and make sure to take a break when you need it!

#GlutenFree #PlantBased #SnackTime
Please remember to be gentle with yourself! 💛 Please remember to be gentle with yourself! 💛

The holidays tend to bring up flare ups as we try to celebrate which can overwork our bodies.

It's also a time when a lot of people get sick so potentially getting sick for us is another source of stress.

On top of that, it's also a time of self-reflection which can all too easily turn into self-criticism as we tend to make plans for changes starting in the new year.

Whatever the source is of your flare up, I hope your symptoms come down to your baseline soon. 💛

#ChronicIllness #ChronicallyIll #Disabled #Disability #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #MastCellActivationSyndrome
Not sure what they get your friends and family for Not sure what they get your friends and family for the holidays? 

Don’t worry! These are some awesome holidays gift ideas available at @francescas 

Which one is your favorite? Comment below!

Use “Joanna10” at @francescas for an extra 10% off!

#HolidayGiftGuide #HolidayGiftGuide2022 #FallFashion #franAmbassador
Double tap if you can relate! 💛 Unfortunately Double tap if you can relate! 💛

Unfortunately for our plans, we don't get to choose which days out of the year we have which symptoms.

Please remember to be gentle with yourself and others this holiday season. The holidays are a time that's supposed to be wonderful but it's difficult for many people for a variety of reasons, including chronic illness.

The stress of having a low symptom day (especially spanning over several days) can trigger a flare up, so it's already tricky in that regard.

I hope that you have a wonderful holiday season and everything goes according to your plans!

What are your plans this holiday season? Are you planning on hanging out at home, going to see family, etc.? Comment below!

Follow @joannanobanana for more content like this! 

#ChronicIllness #ChronicallyIll #Disabled #Disability #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #MastCellActivationSyndrome
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About Me

About Me

My name is Joanna. I’m a 24-year-old chronically ill and disabled blogger whose goal is to help build our wonderful community.

Popular Posts

  • 1

    Imposter Syndrome: Dynamic Disability Edition

    September 6, 2020
  • 2

    The Difficulty of Weight Change Caused by Chronic Illness

    July 18, 2020
  • 3

    How to Grieve: Chronic Illness Edition

    October 15, 2020

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